Living Life Vegan Style: Enjoying the Moment

So the first week of school is over.

I have eaten healthy. I have exercised. I have gotten home from school in time to make a healthy dinner, even though they weren’t always the most exciting dinners. (Wednesday, it just wasn't quite enough food - so I ate some toast after dinner. Still it could have been worse – I could have eaten an entire carton of ice cream!) And, I did lose weight.

Last Week

This Week

I've mostly been patient with my students. (There was the incident with a group of boys pushing and pinching each other as they stood in line waiting to pick up their books, when my voice was a little sharp, but I didn’t scream at them.) I worried about my class that has only 11 students (2 autistic, 2 special ed., and all ESL) who need extra help and will soon be joined by 15 to 30 more students as the classes get settled. (I was promised that the class wouldn’t have more than 40 students in it but that wasn’t really a comfort.)

I'm not sure I can face a class of 40 the last period of the day.

I did get everything that had to be done, done. Did I get everything I wanted to get done? No. Did I do everything perfectly? No. I still haven’t gotten my “school legs”. By the end of the day my voice was tired, my feet were tired, my body was tired, and my brain was tired! I have survived the week and consider it a good week but I’m not sure I enjoyed the moments of the week.

I think being tired and worrying about things that might make my life difficult but hadn’t happened yet (like a class of 40 high maintenance students), kept me from completely living and enjoying the moments of this week as they were happening. I do need to be prepared for the “danger zones” that might derail my progress, but is worrying about something that hasn’t happened yet, a productive use of my time. The answer to that question is easy – of course not! However, is it good to think of things that might go wrong or might be difficult and plan what I would do in those circumstances so I’m not blindsided? Or is it best, to just wait and see what happens and then react? These questions are not so easy for me to answer.

I have to face the fact that from now until June I'm going to have more to do than I can possibly get done (even w/ Jack's help). I have to make choices and I can't always choose work!

There are things I want to achieve or reach during this year – a specific weight, stronger muscles and more energy, a good relationship with my students, a movie of my weekly visits to the gardens, etc. And, I also have responsibilities required by my job, my life, my doctor – a clean, organized house and classroom, good test scores for my students, lowered blood pressure and cholesterol, etc. I’m not going to achieve these things quickly. And I know I can’t wait until I achieve them before I start enjoying life. I have to love what I’m doing now. Is it possible to enjoy the process of losing weight and not just the weight loss? Is it possible to enjoy the ups AND downs of teaching my students and not just the good grades or high-test scores? Can I learn to take the time to enjoy the journey and not just the final destinations?

I want to take time to enjoy the flowers before they are just petals on the ground.

And I do believe that “taking time” is the key. This next week, I want to pause now and then and “love the moment”. I want to mentally slow down and let the moment register in my brain while I’m cooking, or eating, or exercising, or teaching, or appreciating a student’s funny comment, or helping a student learn from a mistake, or acknowledging the mistake I have made. I’m pretty sure, I’m more likely to eat healthy, stay peaceful, be energetic, and find balance, if I’m enjoying the here and now rather than worrying and waiting for future events.

I tried to enjoy the here and now in the garden this week